Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I Got Ultherapy Instead of a Face-lift - The Cut

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Scientists uncover kidney-to-brain route for Parkinson’s-related protein spread - PsyPost

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

How do you emotionally react to when others seem to feel sorry for you?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I was tired of trying and failing.

And the sadness?

Who are some of the best Korean Actresses?

It’s still here.

Be who you already are.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Disney lays off hundreds of employees across film, TV and other units - CBS News

The sadness was still there.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

SpaceX launches Falcon 9 from Vandenberg SFB Saturday afternoon - KSBY News

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

You are like me, then.

Astronomers Just Discovered The Biggest Explosions Since The Big Bang - ScienceAlert

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

I was tired of fighting.

Shedeur Sanders Near-Perfect During Browns Drills on Wednesday - Sports Illustrated

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Why does TikTok allow porn stars in its platform? Isn't it aimed at teenagers?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

I had run out of hope.